i just wanna soil my oats bro
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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