I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
