It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
