Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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