I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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