I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
