i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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