I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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