gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
