Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
