Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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