im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just want nice things and good sex
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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