I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
