i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
