So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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