thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
