So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
