when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
