so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
