I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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