Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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