Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
