I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
