Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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