I accidentally had phone sex last night
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
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I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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