There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
