come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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