Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
