I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
