People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
