it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
