Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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