its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
