don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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