We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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