he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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