She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
