I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
