My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
