I am puke
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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