ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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