We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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