Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
