I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
