Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
