talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
