so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
