Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
