We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Michael Bay diarrhea
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize