They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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