she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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