Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She's the barista slut.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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