walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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