What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
