Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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