birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
