lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
