I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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