Whatcha textin bout Willis?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
