i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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