FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
