let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
