I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
