Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
