i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We are all done wearing pants today
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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