Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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