I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Slut skills are useful in every country.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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