Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
